fears and beliefs

everyone has fears.

there isn't one person who isn't afraid of something.

weather its just a little fear of bugs or spiders or the dark ,

I'm not saying these things aren't scary , because trust me they are .

i am terrified of the dark,  always have been .

it's scary to think that something might be 'out to get you'.

I'm not really scared of spiders .

anyways

people are scared of different things .

Just like how people like different things.

some people might not understand how some one might be scared of certain things,

 but that's okay it doesn't make your feelings any less real

some people might even be scared by their own thoughts,because your thoughts are with you no matter

what,

and its hard to forget or think of other things sometimes.

its a dark place inside my mind .

its depressing and cold.

but its not my mind that I'm so afraid of its

myself that I'm oh so terrified of

but what am i to do?

when no one believes you when you honestly say you're not okay .

because this mask i wear is so realistic

but cant you see that's what i want you to believe,

i want you to think I'm okay when I'm not

but how should i explain that with out sounding crazy or confusing ,

the words i try to use just don't come out right

like when i open my mouth the words turn into jumbled letters

like some one fell asleep on the keyboard so you don't know what to make out of the random letters,

 you just start to assume that their either weird or so fucking happy their words exploded in to space.

i

don't

understand,

how hard is it just to say,...

"i don't want to be alone by myself , my thoughts are everywhere but i don't need help explaining,

i just need comfort or friend to watch random movies with "

but i guess its even harder to understand that.