# 12 11/10/14

so i dont know whats up wiht my brain but . im kinda in a mood where i just want to party and get drunk and get sick the next morning. but the thing is i dont know why i feel like that  and ive been to a real party before.like one id be scared to go to and regret going to later . one of those . i know i might be pushing it after all im just 15 almost 16 . but still i dont think staying in my room and going to school , is a way to live . i know im only 15 and it wont be like this forever. but it just feels like it. i dont know maybe it a "phase" where i never feel satisfied with anything i have and always want more or want what i cant i have . its not like a boy any thing like that . just i dont know how to explain it maybe i am talking about boys i dont even know .i serious dont know whats wrong with me. im just tried of being told what to do and i hate how no one i live with fucking trusts me like what did i ever do that was so bad to lose your respect and trust. im not 5 i can take care of myself whatever.. -sandy