#8 10/10/14

so I went to the hospital again ... but this time was different .. I ended up missing over a week of school. so basically what happened was I was thinking a lot and it wasn't good thoughts ... I was really suicidal and throught out the day I was texting a crisis line  and towards the end of day I couldn't take it , I couldnt handle life. so when I was talinking to the crisis line I straight up told them "i want to die" and they called emergency services (police) and about four people ended showing up at my house . they were super nice though , one of them even talked about taylor swift  with me  but after they talked to me  they *suggested  that I would go to a hospital  ( and suggested as in you are going) so I went through super awkward car ride in a police car it was kinda cool I guess. when I was at the hospital it was so boring I stayed in my room for the first few days and  then I made a friend there but I got in trouble because 1 I hugged her 2 I went in her room 3 I gave her my email. so when I made other friends I gave them hugs and gave them my email when the nurses weren't looking. and I actually saw my dad twice in a row and I haven't seen him for months so I guess it was since to see him for once . im just so glad im home now I hated being at the hospital so many rules (obviously) but yea I didn't like that. im doing a lot better now though. except im zero days clean ... hopefully it wont happen again