1/9/16
im just done people never have time for me,or people make plans without me right in front of me.
like wtf okay i get it no one likes me or has time for me
im done i give up i dont know what to do anymore
people just expect me to be okay with being alone all the goddamn time
cant fucking handle it anymore
i swear the next time im alone im going to do it
im going to leave this goddamn hell and im never coming back
i'll be long gone before anyone ever finds me in my room with an empty pill bottle in my hand
and a knife in my hand and blood covering the sheets of my bed from the fresh scars i made before i passed.
no ever hears the screans in my head and they never will,
they wont know any of this until they see me laying my bed lifeless.
i already had my last breathe and cried the last tears that shed down my cheeks,
it would be a peaceful death of me crying in my room
where no one will hear me no one will see me as i cry and all my make gets smeared across my face
and i hug myself as i reach the last few moments i have left.
i dont even bother to try to vomit the pills back there wont be a moment where i regret taking those pills
i wont go into the bathrrom and wash my cuts
like i normally would i just let them bleed through my shirtsleeves
and i wipe the makeup off my eyes while theres still makeup burning my eyes.
crying myself to death, killing myself each second closer to my death,
because i got to the point of desperation where i am so fucking desperate
i ran into the kitchen crying opening the cabinet full of prescription pills
and grabbing as many bottles as i can and a bottle of vodka heading back to my room crying
and whimpering for the pain and sadness to stop for all of this to just stop.
and stop it will soon.
oh darling all this pain will come to an end will all the pills by my side and the vodka on the other.
im sorry i wasnt strong - sandy
